The Men I Love

The men I love--the men who love me.  I need a moment to gush over how blessed I am and hope they feel the same way, too.  Don't get me wrong, there are days when I feel as if a gypsy camp was coming through town, I'd send them along!  But, and this is a very big BUT, most days I look at them and wonder, "How did I get so lucky to have these 2 men who love me so unconditionally?"  I think, as I have gotten older and more confident in myself, that I deserve it.  I am not being arrogant when I say this but am realizing that I do deserve it, everyone does.  Everyone deserves to be loved so deeply by their families and friends.  That includes me, too. 

Don't you think that too many times we berate ourselves so much that we don't think we can have it, we search and search and search for it thinking we don't have it, or that we just don't deserve it?  As I have grown older and hopefully wiser I have realized that all I need is right in front of me loving me as much as I love them!  I don't need to have a perfect house or run my kid to too many activities.  I don't need to be a text book anything.  What I do need is to be me.  They love and cheer me on even when I am painting the living room for the 4th time and they can't help but roll their eyes.  They love me when I am tired, dirty, and mean.  They love me when I am sick, sick and tired, and at my worst (and I have been at my worst too many times). But they also love me when I am at my best!  When I am covered in paint or dirt from the garden, when I am sorting, shoveling stuff, playing, laughing, cooking and just being me.  They love me when I am standing on my head in my yoga frame of mind, too.  They encourage me to explore what I want even if they really aren't interested in it. 

I wasted alot of my time searching, wondering, and not paying attention.  Thinking when I achieve this, when I finish that then there will be a big pay off.  Until I slowed down, took a big look around, I noticed that I have those things right here, RIGHT NOW and I had better not miss it!  When that happened so many doors opened up for me, creatively especially!  I am not trying to set the stage for living in my home anymore.  We are living in it now and when I repaint the walls, again, it is because I love doing it.  I love caressing the walls with my paint brush, the walls that house the people I love most in this world.  That is why I love those men more than words can express accurately! 

So now that I am done gushing, where is there meaning for you to draw from?  If you find yourself searching, setting the stage, and just not living but waiting, stop!  Stop, breathe, stand on your head and look around you.  Chances are there are people in your life cheering you on, letting you be you, silently.  There are also people in your life that you are cheering on, too.  Don't miss out on it!  If you are in an abusive situation then seek out help because you don't deserve that.  No one does. 

When you slow down, realize what is around you, you will find that you will do everything better. 

Now, why no faces, you ask?  Because my husband is incredibly private and wishes to keep his face and my son's face off the Internet, so I will respect his wishes because I love him and that is what he wants!  I often wonder when looking at this picture what they are talking about.  One of those Father Son moments I am glad I have on film.  We have spent many days on our lakes and I have many pictures of them talking through the years.  I hope that bond will remain for them for the rest of their lives.  I hope that their love for me will last for the rest of my life, too, and it will because I am not missing out on it.